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  • Fresh starrrrt

    It was an early morning today, woke up at 5:16 and never fell asleep. Felt RAGING with energy within me. Every muscle, every tendon was throbbing. Got up, dressed myself, brushed my teeth, wrote a note to babe and went out. Didn’t know where I’m going, what I want to do. For once, I just wanted to go outside and decide for myself.

    So I did. Took the usual route to the train station (the nice one, through the park where you can find yourself lost in thoughts within seconds of reaching the place). Birds are chirping, leaves are shooing, dancing lightly with movements that only the gentle wind can provoke.

    I am walking. Quickly. Not as quick as I could, for example when in hurry for the train.

    (Trains don’t wait).

    I want to run but I am somehow… stopping myself?

    Got to the point where I could unleash the energy on the 4 steps downhill towards the park/ graveyard.

    Started running, not longer than 30 seconds in I could feel my lungs and throat burning, chest on fire, head was filled up with blood, heart racing like crazy. My leg muscles feel itchy from the power I can feel in them. I squeeze as hard as I can, as I now walk slowly past the last row of houses before the alley.

    No rabbits. Not a single long-eared friend. I wanted to fetch a few, maybe even get a decent photo. Were there any before I started running? Did I scare them with my large feet in my large shoes, carrying this large body? Was I too noisy while running?

    I don’t know. But, in my defence, of all the spots I know with bunnies, there wasn’t a single one out. Might have not been me this time, huh.

    I am now at the alley, where I’ve got two choices. One is to go left – usually route, walking distance to the train station – 7-10 mins.

    I took right. When you get to the alley, if you look both way you can see pretty much both ends of it. I like that. I really do, as that gives me a feeling of safety. I know I can look back/ to the side at any point and see who is there.

    There was only one person way ahead of me, who was attempting to run. Similar to me, he could go for a few quick steps and then had to rest while walking.

    I kept going. With a vision in my mind of what turn to take, so I get to my favourite place on the graveyards. Now, this may sound slightly disturbing to some, but:

    1. I love the graveyards here, as they are so beautiful, well maintained and incredibly quiet. Gives me such a sense of peacefulness.

    2. This is one of the main ways for getting onto the main road (with shops, car garages, etc.)

    So, as I was looking for my favourite shortcut, I looked both ways to check one last time if there is anyone else on the alley who could see me. It always feels dangerous and illegal to go through shortcuts. Probably because it is.

    As I was climbing up the little but hella steep hill, a little twitch of my right eye made me look down and what to see – a little sparrow with its little tiny eggs who seemed to be doing an incredibly important job but also struggle with it. I stood there for a second, no movement, no breath. I wanted to see how it would approach me, or not? Didn’t want to scare in any more.

    It also froze for a week moment, but the shook the existential stress off of his little puffy, now very round, body and kept on chirping and hopping about. I kept moving until I entered the graveyards through the illegal shortcut, which is actually just a hole between some wild bushes.

    You gotta move, child, you got to move.

    Self care is an everyday virtue.

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  • Reading through

    We are outside the country at the moment, in an incredibly hot place. You can literally feel the sun burning through your skin. But as we know, everything has to come to an end. Eventually.

    Well, the end seems to be near. It feels a bit surrealistic. We are going back to (the main) reality where I have my (main) schedule, tasks, bills, etc.

    We’ve been here only for a week but it feels as if we spent a whole lifetime in this place. As if we lived in a different time and space continuum. As if there is another version of us born and raised here.

    We are locals. Not because of these people’s hospitality. Not because of their approach towards us. We just feel it. We are locals.

    It’s intriguing to me how many versions of us there are around the world. How many realities we live in. How many countries, cultures and dimensions.

    We are who we are in the moment of living. As there is no past, no future. We are who we are in the Here and Now. Today I am from this side of the world and in about 10 hours… I will be a local somewhere else.

  • A new beginning

    A new beginning

    Simply change(d)

    It’s been quite a strange time for us recently. We’ve been going through so many changes, it’s crazy!
    But before I dive into the deep – some backstory.
    We’ve been staying and working at the same place for over 2 years now. The pandemic got us kind of stuck, so we just kept on going in a trance-like state for months. We were fortunate and lucky (or so we thought at the time) that we are key workers, because nothing in our routine changed dramatically. I would even say nothing at all.
    And so we had our life cycle of: work-home, home-work. We would go once or twice during the colder months for a quick walk/ hike (but only in the radius of 5-10 miles from home, as the guidelines required from us) and we would spend the whole summer outside camping. Literally – we would go for a few nights, go back home for a few hours to change some clothes, get some provisions, check on the cats and jump on the road again.
    Anyway – we had built a routine which none of us wanted in the first place and none of us actually realised. Until our first travel this year.
    We went on a holiday in May just for a week – our chosen destination was Nerja, Spain. The best choice we’d made in years! And that, I’d say, was the turning point in our lives.
    Because we hadn’t travelled in so long (over 2 years), we got ourselves in a place where we didn’t exactly realise what we were doing. None of us was really happy, but we’d be so used to that state at this point, that it was beyond our realisation.
    However – the borders opened, the flights went back to normal (almost), we just couldn’t wait to get on an airplane again (it felt as if we are flying for the first time) and explore some new lands!
    It turned out even better than we expected – we had so many unexpected events, meetings and places that I will have put them in another post. And I will! 🙂


    But as for now – I wanted to stress on how important changes could be for anyone. And as scary, risky and sometimes simply impossible it might seem… we need changes in our lives! Especially when we’ve created a cycle of simple routines which we follow automatically and don’t even notice ourselves and the surrounding world anymore.
    And when I say changes, I mean all of them. Big and small. Significant and insignificant.
    To change your job.
    To change your clothes.
    To change the usual places you go for a walk, lunch or shopping.
    To change your usual playlist.
    And by saying all that, I do have in mind that creating different routines is crucial for us as humans. This is how our brains perceive the surrounding world in the most efficient way.
    The thing is, people develop this kind of tendency where they would go a bit too far into their routines – so far that the routine would become a habit, and the habit – addiction.
    We would often think of the extremes of addiction, as they can get really severe. And the same way, we have to think of the more subtle forms of the things we like or love but yet indulging in it just a little too often – so it no longer has that “edge”, it doesn’t satisfy us. It doesn’t bring that amount of pleasure as it used to at the very beginning. And this is when, usually, people start looking for something else, something stronger to give them that thrill which they can no longer perceive from their usual “thrill-source”. This is how we get ourselves into a cycle where, if unnoticed and unregulated, we can go a bit further into the habit and turn it into an addiction.
    One way of regulating our behaviour is “surprising” it. Tweak something from the usual routine. Even if not a key aspect of it, start small.
    Experiment with yourself.
    Find new ways of delivering dopamine to the body.
    “Learn how to keep that “no-go”, don-t circuitry, as they call it.”
    Deliberately throughout the day stop yourself from doing things you want to do impulsively – even the most trivial actions could change a lot in our brains – don’t take a look at your phone every 3-5-10-30 minutes. Don’t go to open the fridge door first thing after walking in the kitchen. Don’t light that cigarette just now, put it down and light it in a few minutes. Or don’t. Don’t make yourself a coffee immediately after you wake up, give yourself an hour and have your coffee then. Go to bed half an hour later/ earlier.
    Keep the routine, but break the habit.
    And so, to sum up – creating a routine is ABSOLUTELY crucial and very, very important for us to manage our time but restricting ourselves from getting into it a bit too much is the other key point and very important part of keeping our minds sane and clear.
    This is well-proven by many scientists and for the curious ones I’m posting a link to a short video by one of the greatest scientists living nowadays – the neurologist and ophthalmologist Andrew Huberman. This is where I source my information on this topic (and many others, as he is simply a genius).
    He explains it in a way that everybody could understand.

    That’s all from me (just kidding, this is just me starting)

    See ya’ll again soon,
    MG


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  • (Self)-motivation, -discipline and -sabotage

    We are humans and as such we are capable of everything and anything!

    Yep, we are humans. And no, not all of us feel like superheroes all the time. Maybe very rarely. Maybe never. But.. have you ever stopped for a minute to think about how much human beings are capable of?

    We are literally the almighty creatures. We can be absolute geniuses!

    We can create things and stuff out of nothing. We are capable of absolute destruction to the very last atom. We keep searching and finding. We keep exploring the Earth. To its deepest, darkest secrets. For hundreds and even thousands of years.
    And yet, we barely know our surroundings. Our planet. Ourselves.
    Take the human body, for example. A body which develops with every living day, yet has not changed too much in the last few hundred years. Unlike modern medicine, which develops with every second. Not only we create new vaccines and treatments for many various diseases but we develop different approaches using both modern technology and ancient knowledge to find different ways of treating (and curing) cancer, brain tumours, mental illnesses; adjusting the lives of people with life-long diseases, paralysis, etc.

    We (as humans) learned how to conquer mountain peaks (where levels of oxygen are minimalistic, to zero); swim in and explore the deepest points in the ocean where to that day nobody knows what we can possibly find; how to build a machine which can take us in the air; how to build different facilities for production of food and essential materials; entertainment; health and well-being; helping others; hospitals with all the equipment we have nowadays; facilities for education, accessible for every single person regardless of age, gender, etc.

    And all of that simply created by humans.


    Automation is the process which helped the human the most throughout the years and made possible for us to get where we are now.
    Auto-motion, on the other hand, is something in which we get lost with every single second we spend on “auto-pilot”.

    Everyone knows the feeling of being too tired or stressed or just… “not feeling it”. The “auto” mode.

    The moments in which we don’t quite realise where we are, what we do, who is with us, etc. We know it – we are physically there, having a conversation with a dear friend, or colleague or presenting a new project at work, or simply shopping. We are fully conscious and responsive. But mentally… we are in a “break-time” mode. We are hidden somewhere. Somewhere in our subconscious.

    Our brains only work on half or maybe even 1/3 capacity. Because we are tired, overwhelmed, unnecessarily exhausted. Seemingly for no reason.

    The thing is – as beautiful, absolute genius creatures humans are, we’ve somehow managed to develop our ways of self-sabotaging our own ideas and approaches towards… everything, really.
    We are the ones who are able to create an actual cure for cancer, for example. Instead, we create new viruses.
    We can use technology in a way to help people. Instead, we use it to control and destroy.
    And I’m not even trying to point fingers to global corporations and powers who control the whole internet usage.
    I only speak about myself, about us. As humans.
    We hold the whole knowledge of the world in our hands at least for a few hours every day. We literally have all available dictionaries, magazines, researches, books, articles… in our phones. We have access to almost every point of the world. We can talk in real time with people from the opposite side of the planet the same way as we can talk to our neighbours upstairs.
    We can read and listen to all types of stories, podcasts, interviews, books, lectures, etc.

    And we cannot (and do not) comprehend any of that.

    For us, for our little tiny (yet absolute genius ever-developing) brains, all this information and possible knowledge, presented and given to us freely… is just impossible to take in. We keep scrolling in order to put our minds at ease, instead we keep binging on dopamine sources only to boost our own levels of dopamine, despite the fact that it does exactly the opposite, and this is simply a never-ending game.
    Scrolling through IG, Tiktok, FB, etc. is diving into 40,000 different worlds for just one hour. Absolutely different posts, completely opposite topics. Yet, our brains absorb all these “vibes” and we get addicted to this. The more the brain takes in, the more it wants. The more it knows, the less it knows.

    We have the priority of having a constantly developing and re-shaping organ, which on the top of everything else is our main organ (a.k.a – everything else depends on it – all functions of all organs, as well as the basic body functions such as mobility, sleep, breathing, senses, etc.). We can literally change our brains, starting today.
    Right now, in this moment of reading our brain is re-shaping, different work centres light up and start working, new neurotransmitters are created.
    And yet… people seem not to go out of their way. They somehow prefer to get kind-of-stuck and stay comfortably in one place especially at a certain age, thinking: “let them youngsters develop and learn, I’ve learned what I had to, now I’m too old for starting new things/ continuing my personal development”. Somehow, even if we are able to hold the whole universe in our hands, we are still with the mindset of “I can’t do this”.
    We still struggle with organising our days, our thoughts. We still indulge in things we love the most and more specifically are used to doing, and avoid “the hard work”. We still struggle with procrastination and therefore – self-motivation.

    One thing we don’t struggle with is self-sabotage.

    Unfortunately nowadays what I’ve noticed is how well people self-sabotage themselves. In a way in which nobody else can possible do.
    An easy example from our every day life: we are well-aware of the fact that we have a project to do. For months. At the last week of assessment, we still haven’t done anything on the project. We live for days with the thought of this project somewhere at the back of the mind. In the last three days we start shaking out of anxiety and the poisonous thoughts come to the surface. In the last day, we might sit down and overcome the inner battles, fighting to blood on the inside but in the end – manage to finish the project and finally send it (last minute, literally). Or option 2 – not bother with the project at all and live with anxiety for the whole duration of it, as well as after the final date – simply because we know we could’ve done it, but… we didn’t. For no reason.

    It’s the same with basic tasks – we always have the choice of eating the healthier option instead of buying a processed meal with 984378745 calories, none of which good for the body and mind. Choosing to take a shower in the morning, instead of sleeping late. Waking up early/ when we’ve had enough sleep instead of lying in bed all day. Cleaning a little bit every day instead of cleaning once per week/month (just because it’s already absolutely needed). Go to the gym/ out for a walk/ any activity really for an hour, instead of sitting on the sofa scrolling on Tiktok or 2,5 hours straight.

    The thing is, our brains have changed in the last few years in a way it gets the levels of dopamine a lot faster through the screen and a lot slower… without a screen.
    How many people are there who still prefer to read a book rather than watch a movie/ play a game on their console/ scroll on their phones/ watch videos, etc.?

    We don’t meet with others as often as we did before. We don’t spend as much time in nature anymore. We don’t appreciate the silence or natural sounds.
    We don’t look around us.
    Because we are busy looking down.
    To the screen.


    To me self-motivation and discipline are incredibly difficult, always have been. But we have to start somewhere, possibly at the beginning of our learning journey.

    • First of all – contrary to the mass believe – self-discipline and motivation does not come from restrictions. In fact – quite the opposite – in many cases self-rewarding* is a main factor in self-discipline.
    • Second thing – self-assessment. And I don’t necessarily mean deep psychological evaluations (although if you’re capable of it, why not). What I mean is basic understandings of the personal needs, beliefs and goals.
      • What do I need in my life – right now, in 5 months, in 2 years? (People/ solitude/ education/ certain type of work/ car or a van to travel/ a house or flat to stay put/ etc.)
      • How do I want to perceive the surrounding world? (Do I want to be open to new people, places and experiences? Do I want to be protected from them? Maybe both? Do I want to be calm and mindful or do I want to stress over every single thing which comes to me? Do I want to get to know myself more or do I feel good enough knowing not too much about myself and my body?)
      • What would I like to accomplish in the next… (hour, day, month, 5-10-30 years)?
      • What (at this moment) could stay in my way to accomplish my goal? (What can I do to change/ shift/ remove it, so it’s no longer in my way?)
    • Third thing is – reasons. Are they personal? Do I want this for me or do I want this for something/ somebody else?
    • Fourth – self-rewards. Very, very important part of the journey. In order to get something done, I know I will earn even more than I initially thought, when first started my journey to self-improvement.

    And so, self-discipline is built on a few different components. I will try to put it shortly.

    Get yourself familiar with what you would like for yourself. Is it to be surrounded by friends or family at home, or you need some time away from everyone. Even for a couple days. Maybe you can’t afford going for a travel – where can you possibly find peace in solitude?
    Your room?
    That awesome place you know in your town?
    Maybe a place you used to go with you mom/ gran/ ex?
    Maybe even a favourite train-station/ bakery/ hill/ riverside?
    Maybe even it’s not just one place.
    Whatever it is, think of it, think about it and start spending time there. Even if not every day at first, try to spend 30-40 minutes, 1 hour, 3 hours in your place. Where you feel comfy, in peace and in those 30-40 minutes nothing else matters. Just you and your place.

    Once you are there, you’ll be able to see everything more clearly, the thoughts – seemingly so chaotic at first, will start getting into place very quickly.

    For me it’s always been easier to put my thoughts on paper. Any type – even if I don’t have my notebook, I usually have my phone, so I can always write down a few words. Journaling is what makes everything a lot easier to process. Our thoughts are so many, so different and sometimes so overwhelming that we feel the need of escaping from our heads. This is why I’d much rather sit down and write them, even if not in a composed text – just random words and sentences on paper… I get them out of my head and this is what made a MASSIVE difference to me.

    Especially when I managed to create a habit of actual journaling.

    It began as just a couple words here and there, and I’m not going to lie here – it felt super corny and mainstream. Although nobody had (and still no one has) access to them, I felt… weird, the least, of writing random words in a brand new notebook. Kind of felt as if I was ruining the notebook at first. It wouldn’t be too much if I say it was a bit guilt-tripping.
    Anyways, started off with something like: “03/02. 8,30 am. I woke up, brushed my teeth, made my first cup of coffee and am now looking through the window. Will go to the gym in 2 hours and then maybe do some yoga. Will write later again. (___) 11,30 am. I went to the gym, felt super strong today, lifted (..) and squatted (..). Didn’t do any yoga but will prepare a meal. Will meet with (…) later. Maybe will write tomorrow again” and this continued for a while until I realised I am in a place where I’d write numerous pages in essay form or I’d write poems, I’d even write song lyrics. Depends on the sleep I had the previous night, the events happening the last few days, or simply on my mood.

    So big, strong advice -start journaling even if it takes 2 words per day. It’s worth it.

    Then, with journaling, I started thinking about things I’d like to journal about. What did I have in my mind which I wanted to put on paper? Different events? Experiences? At that time nothing much was happening around me, really, it was the home-work, work-home schedule daily, weekly, monthly. I didn’t meet with friends too often and when I did, it didn’t last for more than a couple hours.
    One thing I was doing, though, was going to the gym. And not just “going to the gym” but I started Crossfit. For people who don’t know, super briefly – a sport combining every-single-thing as movement, super challenging and dynamic, as well as super mindful and focused on every single component (flexibility, mobility, strength – primary and secondary, endurance, speed…). Also – super-duper fun!
    So I started writing about my personal experiences there, my feelings during the sessions, etc. and that led me to starting a second journal – tracking my activities in detail and the consequences of them. So this gave me a massive, super important benefit – having a goal in my life. I wanted to get better, I wanted to improve, I strived for more. For the first time in ages I felt the need of pushing myself – FOR myself.
    And so, the wheel started spinning. I had my inner motivation for my inner ambitions and goals, as small as they might seem to someone, they were HUGE for me. I wanted to be able to prove myself TO myself, not to anyone else. From there, I started setting other goals. And finding different ways of completing them. The more I did, the more I wanted to do.
    With every (even minor) task I had completed, I gave myself a reward I knew I was going to appreciate – take my partner to a place we both love; have an awesome meal which I wouldn’t cook just any day; take a day off from everyone and everything; buy myself a book from my favourite series, etc.

    And this it the way it goes.

    Self-motivation and discipline is nothing to do with harmful feelings or emotions towards our own selves. Instead – try to listen to the inner voice and respect it a little bit more.
    Maybe it has something important to say.


  • Zaharin

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  • Today we celebrate a life

    Hello, MG here.
    This will be a slightly different post devoted to a person who deserves all the words in the whole world.

    DISCLAIMER: This article will most likely be no fun to read and will make your thoughts roam around topics people don’t usually like to dig in.

    It’s been quite a tough time for us and my close ones, as we recently lost one of the greatest people ever lived on Earth.

    Today we mark 40 days since we lost Her.

    To the woman who was a Mother to all of us. Even the ones who were not in blood related to her or her family.

    To Her, who taught us everything important about life.

    To Her, who looked after and taught three generations of kids.

    To Her, who showed us how to be decent human beings.

    To Her, who knew everything and everyone.

    To Her, without whom none of us would be who we are today.

    To Her, who taught us how to cook, how to clean and keep clean, how to tidy up and keep tidy. How to pair our socks, how to iron our clothes, how to look like a decent human being, how to build manners and use them properly.

    To Her, who taught us how to stand up for ourselves, how to be tough when needed (although she was as gentle as a flower), how to be gentle with people. How to respect others and gain respect. How important it is to be educated in our world nowadays but even more importantly – how to be a good person. How to be a hard worker. How to be patient and how to set up boundaries. How to drink alcohol with limits. How to cope when you have lost your limits. How to perceive other people even if you don’t want to do so. How to deal with the bad situations in life. How to cheat without being a cheater. How to gain personal benefits without harming others. How to be good to others. How to provoke the system and how to obey the law. How to be good at school without being “the teacher’s favourite”. How to run and play with others but have your own thoughts and feelings. How validating yourself is just as important as validating others.

    She taught us how to tell stories, as well as how to create them while we are still young. How to respect and appreciate our youth. How to make strawberry (and peach, and pear and berries, and…) jam. How to cook chicken soup. The importance of good, real ingredients and the respect towards food. Respect towards animals and plants, towards everything living.

    How important it is to keep clean. For the body, soul and mind. How much we need to be strong, smart, conscious, creative and active while still in our age. To use every second we have, every grasp of air. To enjoy ourselves and lives while we still have it at its fullest.

    Today we celebrate Her life which was rich and full of different experiences. We’ve never been wealthy people but she was rich having a full house with kids and grandkids, many friends around, journeys to different countries and every single person she knew respected her and everyone knew and will always remember her as the amazing person she was!

    Rest in peace.

    We all love you and you will always be a part of us.

  • Hello, World!

    Hello, World!

    As it looks like, this would be our first post. Therefore, I will present some (un)interesting information about who we are and what we do.
    Our names are MG and MK and we have 2 gorgeous little (one of them not so little) furballs – Zaharin (our boy) and Fiscia (our girl).

    We are quite new at blogging. So far we’ve only traveled for our own pleasure, until now…
    What happened?
    We are two very different and very, incredibly similar human beings.
    MK is very much into photography, visual arts, drawing and painting, etc.
    MG – more into writing, reading about writing and… more writing.
    In the end, we figured out that it’d be much easier and fun for us to share our passions with the world and finally have our writing and images together at one.

    We’ll be posting loads of photos from our travels and adventures, as well as our cats and their adventures and travels (Oh, yeah! Cat travels and adventures!)

    That’s it from me for now,
    See ya’ll soon,

    MG