It was an early morning today, woke up at 5:16 and never fell asleep. Felt RAGING with energy within me. Every muscle, every tendon was throbbing. Got up, dressed myself, brushed my teeth, wrote a note to babe and went out. Didn’t know where I’m going, what I want to do. For once, I just wanted to go outside and decide for myself.
So I did. Took the usual route to the train station (the nice one, through the park where you can find yourself lost in thoughts within seconds of reaching the place). Birds are chirping, leaves are shooing, dancing lightly with movements that only the gentle wind can provoke.
I am walking. Quickly. Not as quick as I could, for example when in hurry for the train.
(Trains don’t wait).
I want to run but I am somehow… stopping myself?
Got to the point where I could unleash the energy on the 4 steps downhill towards the park/ graveyard.
Started running, not longer than 30 seconds in I could feel my lungs and throat burning, chest on fire, head was filled up with blood, heart racing like crazy. My leg muscles feel itchy from the power I can feel in them. I squeeze as hard as I can, as I now walk slowly past the last row of houses before the alley.
No rabbits. Not a single long-eared friend. I wanted to fetch a few, maybe even get a decent photo. Were there any before I started running? Did I scare them with my large feet in my large shoes, carrying this large body? Was I too noisy while running?
I don’t know. But, in my defence, of all the spots I know with bunnies, there wasn’t a single one out. Might have not been me this time, huh.
I am now at the alley, where I’ve got two choices. One is to go left – usually route, walking distance to the train station – 7-10 mins.
I took right. When you get to the alley, if you look both way you can see pretty much both ends of it. I like that. I really do, as that gives me a feeling of safety. I know I can look back/ to the side at any point and see who is there.
There was only one person way ahead of me, who was attempting to run. Similar to me, he could go for a few quick steps and then had to rest while walking.
I kept going. With a vision in my mind of what turn to take, so I get to my favourite place on the graveyards. Now, this may sound slightly disturbing to some, but:
1. I love the graveyards here, as they are so beautiful, well maintained and incredibly quiet. Gives me such a sense of peacefulness.
2. This is one of the main ways for getting onto the main road (with shops, car garages, etc.)
So, as I was looking for my favourite shortcut, I looked both ways to check one last time if there is anyone else on the alley who could see me. It always feels dangerous and illegal to go through shortcuts. Probably because it is.
As I was climbing up the little but hella steep hill, a little twitch of my right eye made me look down and what to see – a little sparrow with its little tiny eggs who seemed to be doing an incredibly important job but also struggle with it. I stood there for a second, no movement, no breath. I wanted to see how it would approach me, or not? Didn’t want to scare in any more.
It also froze for a week moment, but the shook the existential stress off of his little puffy, now very round, body and kept on chirping and hopping about. I kept moving until I entered the graveyards through the illegal shortcut, which is actually just a hole between some wild bushes.
You gotta move, child, you got to move.
Alonsy Around The World 